I look better un-naked...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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