Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
