Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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