I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
