You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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