I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
