i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
she smelled like a LAN party
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
