i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
