I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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