and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
