Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
