Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
another moral hangover. fuck.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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