barbara walters just said penis...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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