She's JV to your varsity
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
