Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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