i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
FUCK WHALES
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
