after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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