I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
