i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
