i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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