my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
