just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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