we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
