The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
