fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
