yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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