He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
