i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
