I heard we made out
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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