I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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