The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
