why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
