I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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