Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
