So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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