how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
