Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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