i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
