LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
