I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
