i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
