i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
