Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
