does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize