Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
