The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
