He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
