Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
