Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
