Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
this beer tastes like vomit already
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize