you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You made out with two different species that night
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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