i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize