somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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