I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
