I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize