Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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