At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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