I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
